A new year is almost upon us, and with it comes the desire – and sometimes pressure – to make positive changes in our lives. However, resolutions often end up failing, leaving us feeling discouraged or embarrassed. But why is changing habits so difficult?
Albert Malkin is a professor of applied psychology at Western University who specializes in behavioural science. He spoke with Western News about the challenges we face when trying to make a change, and how we can make simple adjustments to better the chances of success.
Western News: Why do resolutions often fail?
Albert Malkin: The effort involved in truly changing your life or habits is huge. It takes a lot of work and often leads to failure, usually because we set goals that are not achievable. The big key in all of this is identifying the reason for change and what is blocking you from having already changed your habit. By taking the time to understand the ‘why’ of your habits, you can set goals that are more attainable. Then it’s important to be kind to yourself. If you fail one day, that’s okay, because it’s not really failing as long as you’re heading in the right direction.
If failure is a part of the process, how can people manage it?
AM: We tend to pay more attention to our losses than our successes. We need to accept that failure can and will happen, but you get another chance to succeed the next day. Failure can impact how we think about ourselves and leave us feeling defeated, so it’s important to explore whether your thoughts are getting in the way of meeting your goals.
A good approach is to label your thoughts. ‘I am having a thought that I’m a failure,’ is very different than ‘I am a failure.’ That little change can have a big impact in how you feel about losses and the effort it takes to make a change. In a behavioural science therapeutic approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, we call this defusion; you are defusing or distancing yourself from your thoughts.
What is an attainable goal?
AM: It’s about identifying what you can realistically fit into your day and then working up from there. I don’t think there is a hard and fast answer for what is an attainable goal. It’s more about what’s attainable for you, why you are doing it and whether it is going to lead you to larger rewards later.
Why do people see the new year as a time for change?
AM: It’s a nice starting point, but it’s no different than any other day. People identify New Year’s Day as a new beginning in some way, and many find meaning and motivation in that. However, if you’re truly serious about changing your habits, then any day is just fine too. I would actually discourage people from taking on the pressure of New Year’s resolutions and instead just focus on changing behaviour gradually.
Is social media adding pressure around making resolutions?
AM: Before social media, you would have conversations about resolutions with friends and family, and maybe see news items about them, but we weren’t walking around with this thing in our pockets feeding us all kinds of content related to changing ourselves.
If you’re interested in changing your eating habits, social media can feed you content that’s completely contrary to changing your habits in a healthy way. That feed is always with you and doing its best to influence you. Anytime you pick up your phone you could get all kinds of misleading information about dieting or weight loss supplements, and these impact decision making. I think social media can be a big risk right now.
You’ve written about how environmental factors influence changing habits. What role does it play?
AM: Your environment influences what you do in powerful ways.
By environment, I mean your context, what happens before your actions and the consequences that follow. When you keep unhealthy snacks in the house, you’re not just creating temptation, you’re setting up cues that signal something rewarding is available right now. Changing your environment means changing these patterns (don’t keep those snacks in the house, change your route or lay out your exercise clothes). This reduces situations where you’re constantly fighting with yourself and getting caught up in thoughts like, ‘I have to have that snack.’ Instead of relying on willpower, you’re making it easier to make the right choices, which can be very rewarding.
